Because the economy is in such disarray this year, the Twelve Days of Christmas have been reduced to Six. President Obama signed the executive order this afternoon in an effort to help families who are struggling this year with presents.
However, the list was not reduced to just the first six days. Taking into consideration the cost and availability of some of the items on the list, the six days are as follows:
1 Partridge in a Pear Tree {It was determined that no one knew what the hell a partridge actually is so this had to go.}
- Image by eschipul via Flickr
2 Turtle Doves {This is now two pigeons. Pigeons were much cheaper and can be captured easily in most parks.}
3 French Hens {This is only applicable in France and some parts of Louisiana.}
4 Calling Birds
5 Golden Rings {Gold is just way too expensive this year so this has been removed.}
6 Geese A-laying {Geese are a major problem at most golf courses. The President feels that this could serve two purposes: Christmas dinner AND a boost to the golf course with the reduction of goose shit.}
7 Swans A-swimming {This is basically a free-be. You can capture these damn birds at almost any public park.}
8 Maids A-milking {This was a tough call for the President but he finally came to the conclusion that since so many people are out of work and there are most likely a lot of women who have turned to prostitution, this one should remain so those women can provide Christmas presents to their babies. However, Mr. Obama has placed a cap on the amount the Maids can charge and those earnings will be taxed.}
9 Ladies Dancing
10 Lords A-leaping {The President is a big gay rights supporter and deemed this necessary for the season.}
11 Pipers Piping {As a bonus, this one may stay to make a seventh day. Pipers piping is included in the bailout funds that were distributed to the states.}
12 Drummers Drumming
